It’s time to embrace our bodies. I’ve been seeing so many beautiful people embracing and loving their bodies in whatever clothes they want. It’s thrilling to see, and I want to feel the same way too. So, I decided to buy a couple of crop tops for myself. Before you ask, why are you making a big deal out of buying crop tops? I want you to know that I’ve always had this fear of showing off my stomach or wearing revealing clothes. It was something that stopped me from wearing certain clothes for a long time. So, this is a very big deal, and honestly, I can’t even remember the last time my stomach saw the light of day.
I’ve always thought that I could never wear a crop top because I have a tummy, and it usually spills out of my clothes, which is totally normal! But, I always felt that it was inappropriate or gross to wear something that the media meant for a “perfect body.” For a while, it damaged how I looked at myself.
Crop tops weren’t the first offence. The first time I was actually told not to show my stomach was at a Christian-based camp. I had this cute two-piece bathing suit that my mom bought me, and I loved it. Before the week-long camp, I remember wearing that two-piece outside all day long and running around, playing in the pool. But, when I was at the camp, I was told to cover up because it was “too revealing.” So, for the rest of the week, I had to wear a t-shirt. Immediately that put my mindset of two-piece suits as something else that I shouldn’t wear to be modest. And, that was the last time I wore a two-piece for an incredibly long time. I fed into that fear of revealing clothes for far too long.
I mean, I did try a few times to show off my tummy, but I never made it out of the house. I couldn’t convince myself to wear a two-piece bathing suit or cropped shirt out for a long time. I would look in the mirror and see someone that wasn’t allowed to wear one. Which was silly at the moment, but that’s the pressure I put on myself. It was only up until last year where I began to think about my body, stomach and all, differently.
Through my self-love journey with better relationships with food and my body, something clicked in me, and I decided it was time to wear the clothes I wanted to wear. I see so many beautiful bodies wearing clothes and looking amazing! So, why can’t I feel the same way? Before I went on a shopping spree, I only owned two crop tops, but they never fit me properly and never made me feel good. That could be another reason why I was always felt discouraged from wearing them. But, I bought a couple from H&M, and upon purchasing, I was worried they wouldn’t fit properly, or they would just look super weird. That wasn’t the case. I tried on this black number, and it fits amazing!
It’s been a long time coming, but I’m super happy with my body. And, I wanted to change that negative perspective I once had and wear the damn crop top like the badass I am. I’m refusing to listen to anyone about what my body should and shouldn’t look like. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m tired of having days where I look at myself in the mirror and see someone I don’t want to be. There’s nothing wrong with my body. I’m a human with a body that will change all the time.
I want this summer (and the rest of my life) to be a time of trying new things and expressing myself through clothes that I want to wear. No longer will I fear wearing a top that is cropped or a two-piece bathing suit. I’m done with being afraid of my body.