Crop Top Hesitation

It’s time to embrace our bodies. I’ve been seeing so many beautiful people embracing and loving their bodies in whatever clothes they want. It’s thrilling to see, and I want to feel the same way too. So, I decided to buy a couple of crop tops for myself. Before you ask, why are you making a big deal out of buying crop tops? I want you to know that I’ve always had this fear of showing off my stomach or wearing revealing clothes. It was something that stopped me from wearing certain clothes for a long time. So, this is a very big deal, and honestly, I can’t even remember the last time my stomach saw the light of day.

I’ve always thought that I could never wear a crop top because I have a tummy, and it usually spills out of my clothes, which is totally normal! But, I always felt that it was inappropriate or gross to wear something that the media meant for a “perfect body.” For a while, it damaged how I looked at myself. 

Crop tops weren’t the first offence. The first time I was actually told not to show my stomach was at a Christian-based camp. I had this cute two-piece bathing suit that my mom bought me, and I loved it. Before the week-long camp, I remember wearing that two-piece outside all day long and running around, playing in the pool. But, when I was at the camp, I was told to cover up because it was “too revealing.” So, for the rest of the week, I had to wear a t-shirt. Immediately that put my mindset of two-piece suits as something else that I shouldn’t wear to be modest. And, that was the last time I wore a two-piece for an incredibly long time. I fed into that fear of revealing clothes for far too long.

I mean, I did try a few times to show off my tummy, but I never made it out of the house. I couldn’t convince myself to wear a two-piece bathing suit or cropped shirt out for a long time. I would look in the mirror and see someone that wasn’t allowed to wear one. Which was silly at the moment, but that’s the pressure I put on myself. It was only up until last year where I began to think about my body, stomach and all, differently.

Through my self-love journey with better relationships with food and my body, something clicked in me, and I decided it was time to wear the clothes I wanted to wear. I see so many beautiful bodies wearing clothes and looking amazing! So, why can’t I feel the same way? Before I went on a shopping spree, I only owned two crop tops, but they never fit me properly and never made me feel good. That could be another reason why I was always felt discouraged from wearing them. But, I bought a couple from H&M, and upon purchasing, I was worried they wouldn’t fit properly, or they would just look super weird. That wasn’t the case. I tried on this black number, and it fits amazing! 

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m super happy with my body. And, I wanted to change that negative perspective I once had and wear the damn crop top like the badass I am. I’m refusing to listen to anyone about what my body should and shouldn’t look like. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m tired of having days where I look at myself in the mirror and see someone I don’t want to be. There’s nothing wrong with my body. I’m a human with a body that will change all the time. 

I want this summer (and the rest of my life) to be a time of trying new things and expressing myself through clothes that I want to wear. No longer will I fear wearing a top that is cropped or a two-piece bathing suit. I’m done with being afraid of my body. 

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