I wish for you to be brave
with your words
with your walk
I wish for you to be happy
of your body
of your mind
I wish that I could finish that poem.
In all honesty, I’ve been trying for a very long time, and I can’t finish it. Maybe it’s because I am not a poet. But there was something that I wanted to say along the lines of “I Wish.”
So, I recently picked up (again) a book about introverts called The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World by Sophia Dembling. The 2012 book challenges introverts to take ownership of their personalities in this “noisy world.” I read the book years ago when I was struggling with being quiet. During that time, being quiet meant that I was either a bitch or weirdo, but this book explores the facets of personality and how each quirk makes up who we are.
I won’t say the book was life changing, but it was great to read about different perspectives of what it means to be an introvert. It’s not a book that tells you the right and wrong way to live as an introvert, because everyone is different. We need to own our personalities, whether we’re introverted or not. It was a decent book that made you aware that you’re not alone.
Dembling brings up topics that revolve around parties, liquid courage, and obviously people, to name a few. On the subject of parties, she explains how introverts will attend a party (albeit not willing) and will either find solace in a quiet room, such as the bathroom or will think of an excuse to leave the party. It suggests that all introverts don’t like to go to parties and would rather say no. On the contrary, I actually like going to parties, especially when I know that I will see a familiar face. And sometimes, I don’t like to go to parties because I really just want to sit at home and watch movies all night. The latter doesn’t mean that I dislike parties; sometimes, I’m just lazy.
About alcohol, Dembling describes how liquid courage isn’t always the best thing for the majority of introverts. And that’s okay! Most often, we don’t know the outcome of the amount of alcohol we will potentially consume in a night. And, I’ll admit, I’m a victim of using alcohol to ease the tension of my social anxieties, but who doesn’t? It gives me a little confidence boost to speak up during a conversation, especially when I’m with a large group of new people. However, after a few years, I didn’t use it quite as often for that purpose. It just happened. Seriously, with or without alcohol, I am a chatterbox. But, moving on, Dembling had more to say about introverts.
Dembling also said, “Fun for introverts doesn’t look like fun to extroverts…” and I can’t help but disagree with this. Maybe at one point, I resonated with this statement, but since growing up into the person I am, I’ve come to know that people have fun in their way, and no one is questioning how they have fun.
“Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I have nothing to say.”
– Sophia Dembling, The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
Something to Say
Since going through the book again, I’ve realized that I’m more comfortable with my awkwardness and confident with my words than before. And that’s where this idea of “I Wish” came from.
This isn’t a book review, nor is it a piece disagreeing with the author’s intentions of introverts. This book did something I didn’t expect – inspire me because I do have something to say.
I wanted to write the poem as a reminder that I am all of those things – brave, happy, and whatever else I was going to say. It’s a good reminder (for myself) that pushes me to continue to write weird pieces and work on my podcast.
I’ve always had something to say and sometimes it’s hard to convey that message whether I am trying to relay the message to others or myself. So, let this be a reminder that our voices matter. You matter.
If you’re interested in more from Sophia Dembling, she has also written Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After.